So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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