Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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