did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
