Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
