does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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