Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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