if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
