She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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