I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
