spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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