Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
