My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
