I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
