I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enjoy the penises
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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