I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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