dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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