the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
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I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
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All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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