Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
