time to smoke my breakfast
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
