well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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