I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
That reminds me...we need to get swords
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I want her autograph on my taint
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
