Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I need a beard to bite.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
