he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
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You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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