East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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