she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
