? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
