He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she looked like the before picture.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
