Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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