I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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