Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
