an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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