I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
this must be what syphilis tastes like
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
