hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
