My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
