i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
