you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
