I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
