Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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