If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
