You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
