it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
