even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
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It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
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Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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