I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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