I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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