Reggie can tackle my bush.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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