Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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