Tell her she can't have a vagina
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
