Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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