he wants to bone in the snuggie
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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