I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
