He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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