I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
