hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
