Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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