That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
